Accumulative stray thoughts – Entry for 2/20/2015

If I give birth to a female child in the future (If I ever get married); I am going to make sure my child has dolls of different colors. Do you know how sad I was growing up surrounded with only white barbies? OK I had one brown doll, I still have her and she was the best barbie ever. Her hair was the perfect shade of brown that I could consider a vibrant chocolate. I’m pretty sure if there was more variety when I was a kid, I wouldn’t be so confused as an adult.

I’m very sure any offspring I have wont be dark skinned since I turned out pretty light. I’m kinda sad since I want a dark skinned kid along with a blond with blue eyes; maybe when I’m much much older and have a nice income I’ll consider fostering/adopting – that’ll be the only way I’d have such a child.

I actually always wanted to foster teens/pre teens. I don’t know what real orphanages look like or if they really exist but I got the idea it must be horrible seeing all younger kids get adopted like kittens to cats.

I have to figure out SERIOUSLY a new meal plan than the one I’m working with now which is pickled, sugary and sometimes veg/cheese. This is JUST NOT WORKING. I went to the doctor and found out I only gained 5 lbs…But I feel as if I gained twenty! If you must know, though I doubt anyone truly cares that means I weigh 238. When I stopped exercising last year I was 230, so only a 8 lbs gain isn’t bad considering I don’t do any physical activity but I feel disgusted with myself.

That does not mean if tomorrows weather is as windy as today – I wont go to the Chinese bakery and buy another sweet rice ball..WAIT NO SUGAR. Ugh.

I COULD just make it..Hmm this way I can control the sugar….Then again I could actually devote that time towards making a loaf, I have two mangoes probably rotten by now. I know, shame on me for not just eating them before they went bad.

– A-** Who needs frigging drugs when you have sugar in your life? Not only does it ruin your teeth like drugs can, you also experience many strange mood effects and cravings. I’m so mad at myself! The only way around this is to eat only wheat and bitter things till my taste buds level out.

Veggie burgers that aren’t home made are no longer on my ‘OK’ list along with frozen veg. I had a head of broccoli go bad while I ate the frozen variety; I wish I could dominate what goes in the fridge/freezer but I cant since Gma also lives here. I’m pretty sure those 8 lbs wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t have Gma; she loves her cookies as much as I do.

I should take a picture, would you like to know what I found in the back of the fridge? A jar of marchino cherries from 2010 and a Tupperware full of alcoholic prunes…OH and a block of tamarind that I don’t know what year its from! I’m honestly a little terrified of the Tupperware now, I didn’t inspect it but if there is no mold – I’m going to bake.

I was eating raw eggplant in vinegar the other day. Someone a long time ago told me eating eggplant raw is like eatin poison; I’m still alive. Its better than when I steam it – When that’s done I can’t figure out a portion size and end up eating half the eggplant because its mush.

I wanted to buy flowers for the past couple days, not planted ones since they would just die but cut flowers. Every store I walked past that sell flowers were closed up! Its just too cold for them! I suppose I could go to the florist, but I just want a couple carnations – I don’t want to spend 5 dollars on a singular flower.

I just noticed every line I wrote starts with ‘I’…Well I guess I need to edit this…right? Talk in third person and creep people out. OH I KNOW. The remainder of this post will be No. I’ll do that another time.

Blah. I’m getting sick of ‘I’ and don’t feel like writing anymore; I keep making a shittonF*CK of spelling mistakes, grammar errors and I’m beginning to type things backwards.

Never was tested for dyslexia, mabes I just had a stroke or something.

-Bad touch Bear