So there is this fat bastard in my life named Bear. This is my prime suspect #1 in this entry, I am currently waiting to see shiny tinsel poo’s in the litter box. Let me start at the beginning – getting angry in the first paragraph will achieve nothing.
Saturday 11:30 or 12 PM – unexpectedly my two Aunts and singular female cousin show up without telling Grandma a day in advance. The excuse was to pick up youngest male cousin’s Chanukah present that had been sitting. I wont go into detail over the conversations held, its pointless and irritating. I spent 3 hours putting away my belongings that were not toys. When they arrive I had been cleaning off the recliner for the past 10 minutes. Bear fur is VERY hard to remove.
12:15 – SMAN calls. Oh a new player I bet your thinking. SMAN I don’t mention much because we have this mutual lax relationship where we call or text each other every 3 to 6 months. The last time I saw him was in 2012, the last time we chatted was sometime in November 2014. Thank god for SMAN’s horrible timing; he always seems to call when something is happening or I’m waiting. I manage to avoid talking to any family members and they take Grandma out to eat.
12:47 – Grandma and family go out to eat at Sahara’s.
1:05PM – MABIBBLE APPEARS. I had promised to give him a couple smacks and I forgot since I was talking to SMAN and trying to think about things we could possibly do to meet up.
1:20PM – Beat up MABIBBLE and get dressed to go outside.
1:22PM – Hang up with SMAN, leave APT.
Fast forward 1:30 – 2:10PM have lunch at Sakura’s, Visit corner store, leave empty handed.
2:23PM – Walk a different route on the pretext of ‘exercise’. MABIBBLE is on to what my real plot was, which is always to look over garbage.
2:30PM – TINSEL AHOY! MABIBBLE is trying to lure me back into the APT building but I’m hovering over a line up of discarded Christmas trees. Fist filled with an minimal amount, return inside only after MABIBBLE guarantees not to throw out TINSEL.
2:55PM – Fastforwarded a little, MABIBBLE hogs Bear – Aunties talk & watch TV with coffee and cookies. TINSEL encounter with Bear. Female cousin gives Bear a strand of TINSEL and is ecstatic over the cat’s reaction.
3:10PM – I fully regret allowing female cousin permission to touch TINSEL scavenged. Bear is still meowing and carrying on. To placate a rubberband is offered.
Family leaves sometime around 4:20PM to 4:40PM.
Fastforward to 6PM. Noted TINSEL is in a clump by lamp nearest window. It is not secured in any manner. We went food shopping, I picked out more TINSEL from garbage. MABIBBLE order’s pizza…
6:40PM to 8:20PM – ALL I CARE ABOUT IS PIZZA. THE WORLD I DO NOT CARE ABOUT, ONLY HOW TO SHOVE MORE PIZZA IN MY MOUTH WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT BY MABIBBLE.
Bed time was somewhere between 10:30 and 11:20PM. I had managed to eat five slices and a bite of a 6th of a Grandma pie, fresh mozz & tomato sauce fashioned square. Very delicious.
Sunday passes in bloated like state due to overload of ‘outside food’. Its now 10PM before I realize the clump of TINSEL is missing.
10:05PM – Call MABIBBLE and accuse him of putting Tinsels somewhere just to hear angry reaction. MABIBBLE has no clue what I’m talking about, does not recall where Tinsel clump last was.
10:10PM – Write note for Gma, she does not know of any TINSEL.
10:30PM -12AM Search APT for Tinsel Clump. Encounter Bear, who has been in a pretty good mood, lately he has been doing backflips and playing without prompting…Saturday night he was being a bastard, doing the put away clawing on furniture though…
MONDAY. THAT IS TODAY.
I have spent the majority, when not distracted – bothering Bear and not allowing him to sleep on the Recliner. I am VERY SURE he has eaten the TINSEL, there were NO SURVIVORS and NO EVIDENCE.
I assume this is retaliation on recent food rationing and dry food ban…Then again he is a amazingly stupid/smart cat. I do not know if he is capable of eating non-edible objects but whenever I open my jewerly box he is keen to be on the dresser, helping himself to the contents.
If I didn’t have to clean up for company, that clump of TINSEL would be safely put away…But I was distracted and it was left out. Today I scavenged buttons from the garbage – but its not the same. I will continue to search but I fear my efforts are in vain.
– Bad touch Bear