It happens every now and again that I become really happy for someone else; even if I don’t know them personally. I’ll smile, outwardly and inwardly.
Today is just one of those days I guess, another blogger seems to be receiving good luck with publishing. I just read books and use to role play, I know NOTHING about the world this person belongs to – so to hear good news – I feel better.
Better about what? By the way, Where have you been?
Just ruminating I suppose. Last week Thursday took A LOT out of me! There was also the random men giving me that ‘look’. As best as I can describe it, a mixture of curiosity, interest and slight disbelief – because I did something I guess unexpected, or maybe its my bottom. I day dream quite a bit…A unhealthy bit.
Oh I just sighed, there goes that ‘good feeling’.
My hypochondria the past couple days has been on over drive, along with analyzing my behavior. I always think something is wrong with me, which is why I fail at life. I don’t really want to whine about the bad things in my life, there are a lot; but just ignoring them is no good.
I’ll give you a example of my thought process of, I think Wednesday night? 9 PM, just finished brushing my teeth and washing my face, I notice my gum line has receded. I thought back, my grandmother’s side has poor luck with teeth. To be honest the genes I inherited will insure if I don’t procreate with someone who is 6’+ they’ll be ‘petite’. ( I don’t like tall men.)
ANYWAY, I kept eyeing my bottom four. My new insurance has dental but I’ve not been to the dentist because I kinda – trust my old dentist. Do I, find this new dental provider and let them screw up my teeth? Use the old one and pay a lot of money? So it played out like this with all these thoughts going round ‘n’ round.
Call up insurance provider > Stressful phone conversation > Dentist > Anxiously book appointment & Wait > New person > Stress from traveling > Screwing up > Stuck this way for the rest o’ life > Cavities > Oral surgery > Partial dentures
(Its not that bad but I go there because my mind prefers traveling dreary paths).
Wait it out > Just experienced something stressful > Just started birth control > Vitamin D & Iron deficient > Clenching and grinding again in sleep
The end result? I went to sleep. I try my best to rationalize something to where I’m comfortable enough for sleep/ignoring it. 2 AM I wake up and turn on my phone to research the holistic approach.
Eyes burning from the light, I find out rubbing certain oil’s on the gums and green tea helps. I’m not a consistent person – this is a HUDGE flaw in my behavior; but I already note issues with these suggestions. Two hours before bed I do not eat; I have been able to keep up with for the past five years. Applying oil, whatever kind it may be, is still eating something, along with green tea. The acidic properties of tea along with caffeine will stain my teeth and cause acid in my stomach. The use of oil, coconut or sesame will leave a nasty coating on my tongue when I wake.
The only viable option I could try is doing these methods during the day and trying a tea tree oil based toothpaste. OR I can be a big girl and go to the dentist. Right now, I see no wining solution and I keep flicking my tongue over those 4 teeth’s gum line.
I’m not in any pain, If I was – I would have done something and stress affects me greatly…Greatly..Greatly..GREATLY…Greatly…BLAGGARAFFLOOF!
I also haven’t been drinking enough water due to the weather change.
I need to chill out – Only people on TV have pearly whites and I don’t smile showing my teeth, simply don’t like the breeze.
Sometimes it does feel like I have aluminum foil in my mouth.
Bah – I going to take a nap!
-Bad touch Bear