Soarly lazy

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I smell toast right now and want to go make some.

Its another disappearing act from yours truly – I’ve been sick.
Not so sick that I’m incapacitated and unable to post a entry; I’m just not in a literary/composed state where I want to share my inner thoughts. Yet I AM making this entry as a reminder actually to myself.

See this happens often, I’ll get sick or hurt, and with a childhood full of physical abuse I quickly forget about any physical pain. I swear this is the first time this year I’ve caught a cold – It’s a soar throat – I think from having the window open at night. I also can believe that this ISN’T the first time I caught a cold for the year because I’m exposed to germs and germ-like creatures disguised as humans daily.

I can recall last year I hurt my back badly and was out of commission for a week, I was also milking it and playing Terraria on my Vita. A couple months ago I had that crazy period, currently my eczema on my fingers is flaring up…Oh my gums? They are better, no instant gum regeneration but they aren’t ‘tight’ feeling. I’m sitting here seriously trying to think of the times I’ve had a complaint VS when I was actually sick – I can’t recall. Two weeks ago a bout of salmonella poisoning? Stomach aches are usual for me along with flare ups from eating dairy. Very sure I gained weight and I didn’t change my diet.  I’m drawing blanks and I need to get personal with phlegm.

Welp, I have loads to say now that I’m sitting here with the editor open but honestly…

I’ll see ya when I see ya;

– Bad touch Bear

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This is the dawning of the AGE OF AQUARIUS!

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You know it, I know it, my last boyfriend defiantly knew it – I am weird.

This morning I’ve finally reached a new plateau of how weird I am by waking up with a song in my mouth.

Oh? ‘I don’t get what your talking about BTB, You mean smile on your lips right?’

No; I was singing in my sleep or maybe it was just some casual humming since my throat wasn’t sore. Occasionally I’ve been told by (a longtime ex) lover that I make ‘noise’ in my sleep, its not these cute conversations that are logical or understandable, nor is it grunting. Its kind of listening to a person with brain damage slur through some monologue or one sided conversation. I do not sound pretty and imagine the owner of these recordings to be drooling while speaking; I was told I wasn’t drooling so safe there.

Recordings? Oh yes – the last boyfriend loved to capitalize on HOW weird I am and make it known sometimes daily. Like he was a prime example of what is normal and I should be grateful he put up with me for close to three years. I’d make a good Zombie I was told, I like to gnaw on people and I’ve got that whole moaning like a tormented soul down pat, only problem is I’m still alive.

Employment after death seems to be UP, if only I could do something about now.

ANYWAY all things aside, today it was ‘THIS IS THE DAWNING OF THE AGE OF AQUARIUS!’ I caught a couple bars of it while waking – it took me some time to recall what song this was since I haven’t heard it since I was five. I’m visualizing a orange and purple one piece with flairs, worn by a man with long blond hair, what I found on the internet contrasted what I remember. Yesterday I was actually marveling at how some people remember quotes from movies or books; I think this current example of singing in my sleep was a gift to remind me I’m not as forgetful as I think I am.

For the version that I was singing but I remember the vocals much more ‘Heavy’ I guess: {Link}

For kooky music video with hippies: {Link}

ACTUALLY I’m now recalling in the past month I woke up with a whole verse of Savage Garden’s … I forgot what song…It was on the orange CD and had to do something with ‘I want to be like an Animal’ I think…

I want some raisinets, the mix-tape my mother had that song on (Long destroyed) had a song following it up I think about that candy. Sugar high honey bunch?


Not a healthy breakfast – then again something like this I’d have to go out and its wet outside…Hmm…

 

I think Air taste pretty good right now! Thanks for readin’,

-Bad touch Bear

October 10th, Reaction’s to paternity testing Drama

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There are quite a bit of the china type Asians in this tv audience. I keep glancing at the small TV my Grandmother has on and greatly disliking that she is watching ‘Maury’ (Basically think of Jerry Springer).

Its not every day I wake up and say, ‘Hey – I’m going to be opinionated to the point where I’m viewed as racist/crazy/a prim and proper hypocrite.’ but damn…

Two women, cousins, grew up close and this guy – I’m not fully paying mind to the TV; he impregnated them both and is denying this. I hear lots of ‘OOOOHS!” going on and high pitched ‘BLA BLA BLA’s’.  The child is named ‘Honesty’. What a Puritan name! Did she pick that one to shame the child or the father?  Wish there was a fast forward button, I want to hear if these sister/cousin’s are from the same father suddenly. Ugh he is father of both children – how revolting, that makes 7 children he fathered and does not care for. The protagonist who brought this to light reminds me of an angry chitterling bird, she keeps swooping and getting close to argue with the Johnny Appleseed. Sister/Cousin, Brother/Sister/Cousin…

Not only is the world over populated, shows like this just OH I SAW A BABY MONKEY IMPERSONATING A HUMAN…Wait. Oops, pardon my moment of racism there. Why do women on these shows choose wandering tom cats?

I’m female, I’ve been in a relationship with …That child is really cute, even though I’m still thinking ‘baby monkey’…WOAH, the mother is so ashen cheeked!…I think I was trying to be intellectual before and ask why women choose men with such ..My braincells are dying! She JUST had one baby and she is pregnant again…I swear what logic do these girls work on? Just cause you have a biological family member that seems reliable does not mean leave your baby with ‘MOM’ and go on your way. Meanwhile its ONLY Mom who is petitioning and pleading with the daughter’s possible ‘sperm donators’, yea plural – she has two. (I’m saying that since right now, ‘Father’ does not fit).

Yuck, what a immature bastard! He is doing a jig cause he isn’t the donar while the other one has such a look. He walked off the set like he had on prison chains.

My eyes burn the next segment has a large woman, she is pretty, but her MOUTH!

WHY CANT YOU JUST WATCH GAME SHOW NETWORK GRANDMA?! I HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO RIGHT NOW AND THIS DISTRACTION IS SLOWLY POISONING HOW I THINK!

Suddenly the lunch I made looks too healthy. I want to eat Subways, I need a intake of yoga mat plastic. Oh you didn’t know about their bread at one point containing azodicarbonamide? I bet you also didn’t know that same ingredient takes residency on the Starbucks menu.

To read about what I’m vaguely talking about, {Click here}

In any case I don’t eat at fast food joints because I find them dirty. I am guilty of pizza or Chinese food, if I’m feeling really bad – some KFC.

Chicken…Its been a week since I ate meat.

Is it so hard to use contraceptives? I’m so happy we are at the top of the food chain; I know I’d make a horrible roast.

Sorry you had to read this,

-Bad touch Bear

A crap-tacular entry for Oct 8th.

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It is NO surprise I missed the Blood Moon.

Oh I was awake; If you missed out on my little fail of a poem, I’m blaming the crappy cat. All he did, ALL NIGHT LONG was meow. MEOW MEOW MEOW MOTHER FRIGGIN MEOW. It wasn’t the innocent meowing either, its the ‘I’m hungry’ complaintive noise all small creatures make, yet as he does this – he is clawing the recliner I was sleeping on. So at 1 AM, 2 AM, 2:30 AM, all till 4 AM we battled.

Lesson I have learned? Don’t fill the spray bottle to full capacity since it becomes heavy and instead of getting the cat, I hit myself in the head – many times (Not with water, with the bottle cause my motor functions while tired are about 0). Around 5 AM I fed him and the ungrateful bastard snubbed the food today. I later find he threw up in the bowl after greedily gobbling it down. This morning I was SO AMAZINGLY pissy I proceeded to squirt the cat till I felt comfortable enough for sleep. That didn’t last long since his routine is after wet food – he proceeds to the bathroom. While I empty my poor full bladder, the crappy cat MUST push the door open (Unless I close it properly he will claw it), then – nails scratching the floor, jump, getting his large 20+ lbs carcass unto the sink to complain for water.

The water bowl is not good enough. Generally I find this annoying but the other day, I found a button in the water bowl which leads me to question how often Grandma changes the water. I give in and open the tap – he will sit there for 10 minutes and drink water; preventing me sink access/brushing teeth/washing face.

After he is done – well this morning I was really fed up and began the squirting routine again. Now I just told you readers that he drinks from the tap – with this piece of information – guess WHERE I have to hit in order to get a reaction from the cat.

I have to pretend I’m a sniper. A slight misting on his coat does nothing, if I hit any body parts all he does is lay there and wag his tail. I have to hit either his ears or his butt ( Not bottom, the place where poo escapes). This is no easy feat while in semi- light, half asleep with a heavy bottle. Even wide awake he knows I’m on to him and will give me his backside since it is a larger target.

I am tired.

Not only tired I want to be violent, you may think that I committed many acts of animal abuse this morning, but I know the cat is laughing and saying: ‘Tomorrow morning I’m going to start at 12 AM! I’m not doing this just because I’m hungry, I’m doing it to train your pathetic human ass in AAW.’ (Animal Annoyance Warfare).

I just looked on my mobile for any photos demonstrating how adorable this asshole looks yet all photos captured only promote his large back side in some pornographic pose.

Instead enjoy this photo bomb of things I found on the internet because I want donut leggings.

Sailor Skater Dress

Tacky.

80 USD and the XL is not XL.

Forever out of stock.

Fast Cat

NO.

Hey starch – Fancy meeting you again!
I think its a sign, to quell this inner rage I gorge on toast, or I can be smart and eat a sweet potato.
Thanks for reading,
-Bad touch Bear

Good night Blood moon

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In a great white room
there was a clock,
Clickity – Click, Went the clock.
Or so really, that was me with a smart mock.
There was also a cat, a big fuzzy cat.
‘Mwoo – Mroo?’ Is it food time for me?
No it isn’t fuzzy cat, now please leave me be.
And was fan
And the remnants of a rubber band.
And on dusty shelves sat various sized baby dolls,
And my one big cow bell.
And a picture of me when I was seventeen.
Outnumbered one to fourty three of other people who aren’t me.
And a come and a brush
And a mug with Apple mush
And a cranky overtired lady who was bludgeoning the big fuzzy cat – bellowing, “HUSH”
Good night, white room. Good night, obscured moon.
Good night, clickity- clock that I smart mocked.
Good night, cat – who knocked over the fan.
Good night, destroyed rubber band. Good night, cat again, stop eating the rubber band.
Good night, shelves, how dusty you are.
Good night, scary dolls. Good night, cow bell.
Good night, singular picture of me, just barely seventeen. Good night, multitudes of not me’s, outnumbered by fourty three.
Good night, comb. Good night, brush.
Good night, home. Good night, Apple mush.
Good night to the crazed lady squirting the cat while growling, “FUCKING SHITTY CAT LEAVE ME BE ALL I WANT TO DO IS SLEEP IN PEACE!”
Good night, stars. Good night, air.
Good night, noises everywhere.

 

For more information on October 8th’s Moon, {Click here}

At the moment, there is a 30% chance I will be able to see the moon and a 15% chance upon finding it I’ll get a picture. Why? The area in which I live has a lot of tall buildings which obscure the skyscape. If I could climb the fire escape from where I am and see the moon, I would but at 4 AM in the morning – I might be seen as a burglar! Hopefully if I head towards the Marina, I’ll see something.

Also the percentage is so low because its COLD and DARK at 4 AM.

Happy hunting to any moon watchers,

-Bad touch Bear